ANAL PLAY
Q: I am interested about anal sex. Is it safe and healthy for both man and woman?
Q: Hi, what do you think about the anal masturbation for man? Is it dangerous? What precaution should be taken? It’s also for heterosexual man?
A: Anal sex, the insertion of a penis or toy into a partner’s anus is pleasurable for some and not so much for others. Some people don’t even want to consider it and others just love it. Practicing anal sex safely is important. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce lubrication when aroused. The skin of the anus is also much more fragile than the tissues of the vagina. Using a lubricant is an absolute must so as not to damage tissues. It’s also important to go slow especially at first and to relax if you want it to be comfortable and pleasurable. It’s also very important to use a condom as this activity, due to the fragile tissues, puts you at higher risk for contracting all kinds of sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. If practiced safely and with a partner who is consenting of course, then it is a healthy activity.
As far as self-pleasuring of the anus, that too is a healthy activity. But like any sexual activity, hygiene is important so make sure you wash your hands and any toy you might want to use before and after anal play.
Anal pleasure is for anyone who enjoys it. Liking it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.
FREQUENCY OF MASTURBATION
Q: I’m a 19-year-old Web developer from India. My sexual life is quite similar to any 19+ teen guy. And obviously, I watch porn sometimes. It’s natural anyway. So, my question to you is, “am I harming my health or my life if I’m masturbating 2 times a week? I’m really very worried about my health and life. So, Can you please help me with this? And, in general, does masturbation affects our health a lot?
Q: What happens if a man masturbates a lot?
A: Masturbation is a perfectly normal sexual activity. The majority of teens (and adults) masturbate. Some do it a whole lot and others not as many. There is no “number” that is a cut off point between healthy and unhealthy. If you spend your days thinking about masturbating or doing it all day and it interferes with your regular life (social, school, dating, work) then it is a problem and not healthy for you. There are also many health benefits to masturbation, like helping with stress and insomnia. Planned Parenthood produced a fun video about this very topic that you might want to check out.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexuality/masturbation
WEIGHT AND ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
Q: I’m a 300lb 6ft 27y/o male with issues staying hard. What can I do fix this?
A: Being overweight can certainly contribute to erectile dysfunction. I checked out www.weightwatchers.com and found this description of an important study looking at this very question:
“The effects of lifestyle changes on erectile dysfunction were the subject of a landmark two-year Italian study conducted by the Second University of Naples and published in the Journal of the American Medical Association in 2004. This study took a group of 110 men between 35 and 55, who all had some degree of ED. All the men who took part were obese but otherwise healthy, and were divided into two equal groups. The first group was given detailed and individualized advice, reducing their total body weight by 10 percent or more through healthy food choices and by increasing physical activity. The second group was just given general information about healthy diet and exercise. By the end of the study, the BMI of men in the first group decreased more than the BMI of those in the second. In addition, in the first group there was a 22 percent improvement in erectile dysfunction and 31 percent of the same men reported being at a level that no longer categorized them as having erectile dysfunction. In contrast, only 6 percent of the men in the second group were no longer considered to have erectile dysfunction.”
So my recommendation is to seek help and information to improve your lifestyle overall, have a medical check up to make sure you do not have any underlying medical issues, and discuss various treatment options with your physician.
LOSS OF SENSITIVITY WITH INTERCOURSE
Q: I am a 48 year old male who has been dating a woman for 3 years now. Our sex life is active and is enjoyable, however I don’t find that I am capable of finishing with her during intercourse. I lose sensitivity and must resort to other means to finish. This is concerning for me, but more so for her as she feels inadequate. I will tell you at this point that I am in the lifestyle and have been for a while. I don’t seem to have this loss of sensitivity when on a playdate with other couples. I am curious as to whether it might be the stimulation of having a different partner, or whether or not my attraction to my current partner is just not as healthy as it could be. Please let me know your thoughts on this if you could.
A: Without the whole story it’s a little hard to tell what’s going on. But here’s a couple of ideas to try on. It’s certainly possible that being with the same partner over the long term is not as arousing or exciting as being with a completely new partner. This doesn’t mean that it’s anything your partner is doing nor does it change how you feel about her. As far as attraction to your partner, only you know what’s in your head. Sometimes we can be very attracted to our partner but our bodies don’t necessarily respond as we expect them to. On another angle, has anything changed with your current partner? Is she lubricating more, less? Is her vagina not as tight as it once was (aging can do that to a vagina)? Bottom line is find what works for both of you through thoughtful communication, ideally without taking anything too personally.